Preparing for Marriage: Dating and Love!

What is your definition of love? To me, love takes different forms, either with family members, friends or a significant other. The love I feel for a family members is different than the love that I feel for my friends. At the same time, I love my fiancé in a mix of both and more of the romantic love. I love my fiancé as a friend, he is my best friend, and I also love him as much as I love my own family. The difference is that I also feel attracted to him, and I have romantic feelings for him that makes our relationship even more special. This type of love is the best type of love and the one I consider most valuable. Is the one that fills my heart and makes me want to do anything for that person. M. Scott Peck said, “I define love thus: The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.” I share this definition of love because I really liked it. The type of love I desire in my marriage is the one that makes me forget about myself and put the other person first. I want to be able to love that person for who he is, who he can become and who he makes want to be, someone better every day.

This week in class, we talked about how we can better prepare for marriage and for the type of love we want. We discussed 4 important steps: dating, courtship, engagement, and marriage. Dating, as something that seems to be disappearing from society, was our focus.

            A lot of people complain and say that dating is not a thing anymore and now people just hang out or just hook up. Dating has become more casual and less significant. But the truth is that dating is the foundation of marriage. You can’t expect to establish a strong marriage with someone that all you do is to hang out, or make out as a way to get to know each other. You need to go on actual dates! And a date needs to be planned, paid for, and paired off. You can’t just text the hot girl of your math class and say: “Hey do you want to come over and watch a movie?” NO! Call her, invite her to do something that you planned, pay for it (no need to spend a lot of money, or money at all), and finally don’t invite all your roommates, (or if you are the girl invited to the date, don’t bring your friends). The date must be one on one, so you can really get to know the person, in a comfortable environment.

            Something that I really liked that we discussed about dates is the relation with the responsibilities are listed in the prophetic LDS declaration, “Family: A Proclamation to The World.” Men’s responsibilities are to preside, provide, and protect. While our responsibilities as mothers and wives is to nurture.  Now I will leave it to you to figure out how the men’s responsibilities of planning, paying for, and making sure the date is paired off are closely related to the responsibilities to preside, provide, and protect. And likewise, our role of nurturing women, and how this is related to our role in dating.

            Dating can be scary, awkward, or boring for some, but the truth is that dating can be fun. It shouldn’t be seen as something like: “Oh if he asked me on another date is because we are going to get married.” We should not be caught up into that pressure. You should go out on actual dates, have a good time, get to know people, and after you find the “right one” keep making the effort of going on special weekly dates to strengthen your relationship.