The Family Under Stress

           Family life brings us the greatest feelings of happiness and joy, yet is not always smoothly and perfect. It would be great if everything were easy, but this is not the case. Families experience crisis, some are external and others are internal to the social system depending the cause, but both are hard to overcome.

All of us deal with stress in our personal lives and within the family, but what is stress? It is a tension that results from very demanding circumstances, but necessary. WAIT, WHAT? Did I just say that stress is a necessity? YES! Stress is necessary, and is not bad. Stress tends to be a bad thing if you see it as a bad thing. Our instructor gave an example that I loved about astronauts. When astronauts come back from space their bodies feel extremely heavy and they can’t even stand on their feet. This is caused for the absence of gravity in the space, and the pressure that muscles and bones lose (lack of stress). This is just an example of the need of stress not only in our physical bodies but in our lives. Having a crisis is also necessary because it brings opportunities for change. We also learned that anxiety is a natural response to a perception of danger, and I emphasize perception, because it is not a reality of danger unless we perceive it as danger. One more time, it is up to us to perceive or see crises as something good or bad. Depending on our perception, is how it affect us.

            Now, all families face challenges and crises, but we observe different outcomes and consequences. Those problems affect families different, and why is that? Reuben Hill developed a model called “ABCX family crisis.” He studied different families while they endured stress during crises. “A” is the actual event and the hardship it produces, for example: a drug addiction, the death of a child, infidelity, big financial problems, the loss of the house due to a natural disaster, and others. “B” is both the resources and the responses with those resources of the family, like insurance, family, church, talent, previous experience acquire from a previous crisis, and more. “C” are for cognitions or the family’s definition of the event. A, B and C work together to produce the total experience: X.

            What I learned this week is that the perspective and the way we define a stressful situation is everything. It is easier to say it of course, but when we are in the situation is harder to react in a positive and creative way. There are many things we can do. We need to recognize the situation and change our perspective. We need to learn to react in a positive way and creatively access all the resources we have. We should look at the situation as an opportunity to change, improve, and become stronger. We must make little adjustments, and instead of isolating and separating ourselves from everyone, we should become more unified as a family unit and marriage.

            To conclude, I would like to share a short video with all of you that talks about the challenges that we all face in life, and how Jesus Christ can be a source of peace in these moments. I know that we have many resources available to deal with those crises and finish stronger than we were. I know these crises can be opportunities for improvement as we let them be for good. Mountains to Climb