What is your definition of love? To
me, love takes different forms, either with family members, friends or a significant
other. The love I feel for a family members is different than the love that I feel
for my friends. At the same time, I love my fiancé in a mix of both and more of
the romantic love. I love my fiancé as a friend, he is my best friend, and I also
love him as much as I love my own family. The difference is that I also feel
attracted to him, and I have romantic feelings for him that makes our relationship
even more special. This type of love is the best type of love and the one I consider
most valuable. Is the one that fills my heart and makes me want to do anything
for that person. M. Scott Peck said, “I define love thus: The will to extend
one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual
growth.” I share this definition of love because I really liked it. The type of
love I desire in my marriage is the one that makes me forget about myself and
put the other person first. I want to be able to love that person for who he
is, who he can become and who he makes want to be, someone better every day.
This week in class, we talked about
how we can better prepare for marriage and for the type of love we want. We discussed
4 important steps: dating, courtship, engagement, and marriage. Dating, as
something that seems to be disappearing from society, was our focus.
A lot of
people complain and say that dating is not a thing anymore and now people just
hang out or just hook up. Dating has become more casual and less significant.
But the truth is that dating is the foundation of marriage. You can’t expect to
establish a strong marriage with someone that all you do is to hang out, or
make out as a way to get to know each other. You need to go on actual dates! And
a date needs to be planned, paid for, and paired off. You can’t just text the
hot girl of your math class and say: “Hey do you want to come over and watch a
movie?” NO! Call her, invite her to do something that you planned, pay for it
(no need to spend a lot of money, or money at all), and finally don’t invite
all your roommates, (or if you are the girl invited to the date, don’t bring
your friends). The date must be one on one, so you can really get to know the
person, in a comfortable environment.
Something
that I really liked that we discussed about dates is the relation with the responsibilities
are listed in the prophetic LDS declaration, “Family: A Proclamation to The World.”
Men’s responsibilities are to preside, provide, and protect. While our responsibilities
as mothers and wives is to nurture. Now I
will leave it to you to figure out how the men’s responsibilities of planning,
paying for, and making sure the date is paired off are closely related to the responsibilities
to preside, provide, and protect. And likewise, our role of nurturing women,
and how this is related to our role in dating.
Dating can
be scary, awkward, or boring for some, but the truth is that dating can be fun.
It shouldn’t be seen as something like: “Oh if he asked me on another date is
because we are going to get married.” We should not be caught up into that
pressure. You should go out on actual dates, have a good time, get to know people,
and after you find the “right one” keep making the effort of going on special weekly
dates to strengthen your relationship.
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